13 Reasons Why- IMO

Today I read an article on thoughtcatalog.com called “Other People Aren’t Responsible For Your Mental Health: Why ’13 Reasons Why’ is pretty much bullsh*t”. Obviously, after reading that article, I had a rant. Here is my rant:

This article clearly shows that the writer does not understand the plot or anything about the show. She said “as someone who has had depression” but just because you were able to work through your depression doesn’t mean another can. Also, yes other people aren’t responsible for your mental health, it is true. But, bullying is a serious offense and even for someone who isn’t mentally ill, there is so much you can take. In fact, many kids with no history of mental illness fall into a depression through excessive bullying which she clearly was a victim of. Saying other people aren’t responsible for how another person feels is just a poor excuse to rid yourself of any responsibility. You don’t get to decide what hurts another person and what doesn’t. Either be kind, or be unkind. Don’t try to grey line it. Loneliness is a killer and not everyone out here is a “loner”. Some people need a shoulder to cry on because they have reached to the point that they are too weak to cry on their own, and to be constantly disappointed by humanity must be horrible. I have been bullied before, and I had no history of mental illness but I can tell you that I have suffered tremendously later on and it was the comfort of friends and family that saved me and still saves me every time I enter a depressive state. And on some days, I would admit that even having love and support doesn’t feel like enough, so much less for someone who feels isolated with evidence surrounding them that the feeling of isolation is very much real, that they are alone. And if you paid close attention to the show and don’t watch with the constant “that’s silly, that’s stupid” mindset, you would hear hints about her being previously bullied. It was actually blatantly stated by the father. To move from being bullied into actually trusting someone again, to then have every single person deceive your trust over and over isn’t easy for a person. It’s like a person who is abused and finally trusts someone else and is again abused. Do you think the abuse comes easier? NO. And you wouldn’t publish an article like this about a show where someone who was abused kill themselves right? Saying that “Other People Aren’t Responsible For Your Mental Health”, you shouldn’t expect other people to save you, you should be stronger than your abuse. You wouldn’t tell a person being abused that they shouldn’t go depending on someone to not abuse them the same way this article critiques the character Hannah Baker saying she shouldn’t expect someone else to save her. No you wouldn’t, because “abuse is more serious than bullying”. NEWSFLASH: bullying is abuse, it just has a prettier name. This article is an example of what the show is trying to say. This article sounds just like Courtney when she kept saying “it wasn’t anyone’s fault”. No. Your actions have effects. It’s scientific. Look it up. Take some responsibility for your life and your actions. If someone doesn’t know you had your appendix removed and have stitches on and punches you, is it your fault cause “they don’t know about your issue and they’re not at fault because you’re the one who has stitches”. NOOO. THEY ARE WRONG BECAUSE THEY SHOULDN’T PUNCH YOU. And you shouldn’t have to say “I have stitches. That is why you shouldn’t punch me”, the same way the show didn’t have to go into details about her having a mental illness or not. No matter how stable or unstable a person’s mental health, there is no excuse for bullying. And every bully is responsible for the toll their actions took on another person.

 

I’ve been on both sides. I’ve been bullied and I’ve bullied. I’ll confess. I spent 12 years of my life in a convent and girls are mean and brutal. I’ve been the victim of abuse more than once. And I’ve made my share of jokes that I know were cruel. And nothing saddens me more than this article. To think that despite a show surrounding how people’s actions, however little or petty it may seem, affects another person more than you know still has reviews like this where people are saying “nah, it’s mostly on you”…No, it’s not. I’ve gotten up many days and said that I’m not gonna be broken today. I will be braver. Nothing anyone says or does is gonna hurt me. And on those same days, I’d come home feeling like utter shit, crying myself to sleep. I was never diagnosed with any mental illness and I’m pretty sure at 5 I didn’t know what depression was. But I did know what it meant to be hurt when a classmate I trusted broke my trust. When she said hurtful and mean things about me. At the age of 6, I had my first rumour. 6! Was I responsible then? No one asks to have a mental illness, but no one tells you that you have to be unkind. People with mental illnesses don’t have a choice; they have to fight to rise above it. People who are cruel willingly stoop to that level. I know. I have stooped before.

Don’t wait till someone gets suicidal. If one person had just been kind. That was it. That was all the show was saying. Be kind. No big job or committment so I don’t even know why there is an article shunning away responsibility. You’re quicker asking a person with mental illness “hey, don’t be so sensitive; don’t take on anyone; solve your own problems and don’t look for anyone else to help you out” but don’t want to tell the other person “hey, just be kind”?…

Think about it…

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