Perfumed woman

She is a breath of fresh air

Yet intoxicating at the same time

She’s good for you in that one whiff of her would clear your senses; you can breathe freely. You can smell the beauty in daisies and the wonder of life

But she’s addictive. Once you’ve experienced her, once you’ve gotten that taste, it’ll never leave your mouth, your soul… your mind

She’s not for the weak. No. She’s for the strong, the mighty, those capable of enduring her power and strength. 

She’s not meant to be suppressed

She’s meant to be enhanced, empowered. Not used for her gifts but admired for the magic within

She cannot be compared to a rose or any common sweet smelling fragrance for she is more divine and more unique

She is the kind of fragrance that lingers and stains every memory, every dream

Natural Love

Look at me. Stare deep into my eyes.

Don’t break your gaze.

Look at me and tell me that you don’t feel the moon drawing nearer and the stars ablaze

In your heart as the darkness inside of you, the darkness you knew, the darkness you grew as a defense

Fades away as a sparkle, a glimmer grows into a roaring flame,

Consuming with remorse every trickle of pain

Tell me you don’t feel gravity failing as you begin to rise effortlessly

Like a balloon floating away past the skies unto infinity

Look into my eyes, stare into my soul. Open your heart and be true to the panic inside of you 

The uprising of emotions that you thought were long gone, that you believed you could not feel anymore

Until that moment our friendship began, and you let me into your life and unconsciously into your soul

Tell me you don’t feel the same way, tell me that the story hidden in your eyes is a fairytale…

But you can’t tell me, because as we stand here and you look into my eyes and lock my gaze…

Everything has changed

Jewelry box

You know those knots your jewelry gets every now and then cause it’s been put down haphazardly in a box

You know the weird satisfaction you get when you finally untangle it because you were trying so desperately for about five minutes, being careful not to end up ruining your favourite necklace 

And then you put it on and you completely forget in less then 30 seconds how tangled up that chain was and every single time you nearly put it back in the box because you were frustrated or you figured it was time to count your losses cause you were never gonna get it loose

In life you risk the chance of coming across these special types of bonds, similar to you and your necklace that you refused to give up on

And if you’re lucky enough, you meet people who sit and sit and stand and sit, trying to untangle you and who refuse to put you back in the box

Despite how often your links jam or twist like they’re about to snap; regardless of the million times one unraveling led to a hundred more knots and much tighter ones too; they just don’t put you down 

And sometimes, you come across necklaces of your own, maybe a precious bracelet and you’re faced with the choice of switching it out for another maybe not as great piece of jewelry but at least one with no knots, or sitting and sitting and standing and sitting trying to loosen the knots because you think this piece of jewelry deserves its day in the sun

Sometimes you might be a necklace, with knots of your own, alongside other pieces of jewelry all tied up and knotted up, and all you can do is be there for them because you’re both in the same mess but it’s better to have a friend than to withstand anything alone

Regardless of the scenario, it’s key to note that whether you’re the one being untangled, the one doing the untangling or the friend patiently waiting with your equally knotted up friend for your moment of freedom, we all have a part to play in every single scenario. We’re all important to each other and we all need each other to get our knots out so that we can all be the precious jewels we are

Better than a Bra

Nothing’s better than knowing that someone out there has your back come hell or high water. That someone is actually willing to be your ride or die and it’s not just according to a hashtag under a birthday picture. No. Someone out there who will, when you call, rush directly to your side as soon as they can, put aside their things to help you and be there for you. If your partner isn’t giving you more support than your everyday, wear till it starts itching you, bra then what’s the use of putting your heart in the hands of someone you’re not sure you can trust with your life. And if it’s a constant question in the back of your mind whether your friends have your back, then what’s the use surrounding yourself with those people. And please save me the speech about oh you shouldn’t be friends with someone because of what they can do for you. Why not? Why do I want to be friends with people who add nothing to my life? Who just take up space in my contact list, and unnecessary space too because when I’m in trouble they are not in my top twenty of people to call? People need people. And I want to be the kind of person that someone can rely on and I want to be surrounded by people who encourage that sort of behaviour in me. People who feed my energy, not feed off of it. People who give and not drain and I too give back and not drain. This is how healthy relationships should be. Relationships are give AND take and often we are too consumed with one or the other. I want to spend the rest of my life with people who I can count on, people who will support me and we will support each other. I want to say my vows to someone who believes every word of it cause I know I sure as hell would. I want relationships that are so much better than a bra.

Stuck

I’m tired; Tired of the excuses,

Of the running around,

Of the me yelling before you realize something is wrong

And then you come

Bearing gifts and apologies, Words better than a love song

And I melt into a puddle, so damn gullible

Taking sweet words and sweet nothings

Like sweet dreams, making somethings out of nothings

I’m tired of the merry-go-round

Two tops in mud, spinning one place

Never moving, never progressing

Just…stuck

There she goes 

She walks but there’s no thunder to her footsteps

There’s no loud bang, no echo… not what you’ll expect huh

You expect thunder and fireworks

Lightning flashing across the sky

But instead when she walks

You get goosebumps instead of earthquakes

Instead of thunder rolling, you feel a calm wind blowing

It’s quite soothing, calming, breathtaking 

She walks and you don’t hear a thing 

No noise

Without a single sound, she gentle cracks the ground upon which she walks

Breaking the obstacles in her way so peacefully

With a serenity that overtakes every passerby along her journey

She walks, deafening you as she drifts like a feather down the soft trickle of a stream 

And you feel every single step

13 Reasons Why- IMO

Today I read an article on thoughtcatalog.com called “Other People Aren’t Responsible For Your Mental Health: Why ’13 Reasons Why’ is pretty much bullsh*t”. Obviously, after reading that article, I had a rant. Here is my rant:

This article clearly shows that the writer does not understand the plot or anything about the show. She said “as someone who has had depression” but just because you were able to work through your depression doesn’t mean another can. Also, yes other people aren’t responsible for your mental health, it is true. But, bullying is a serious offense and even for someone who isn’t mentally ill, there is so much you can take. In fact, many kids with no history of mental illness fall into a depression through excessive bullying which she clearly was a victim of. Saying other people aren’t responsible for how another person feels is just a poor excuse to rid yourself of any responsibility. You don’t get to decide what hurts another person and what doesn’t. Either be kind, or be unkind. Don’t try to grey line it. Loneliness is a killer and not everyone out here is a “loner”. Some people need a shoulder to cry on because they have reached to the point that they are too weak to cry on their own, and to be constantly disappointed by humanity must be horrible. I have been bullied before, and I had no history of mental illness but I can tell you that I have suffered tremendously later on and it was the comfort of friends and family that saved me and still saves me every time I enter a depressive state. And on some days, I would admit that even having love and support doesn’t feel like enough, so much less for someone who feels isolated with evidence surrounding them that the feeling of isolation is very much real, that they are alone. And if you paid close attention to the show and don’t watch with the constant “that’s silly, that’s stupid” mindset, you would hear hints about her being previously bullied. It was actually blatantly stated by the father. To move from being bullied into actually trusting someone again, to then have every single person deceive your trust over and over isn’t easy for a person. It’s like a person who is abused and finally trusts someone else and is again abused. Do you think the abuse comes easier? NO. And you wouldn’t publish an article like this about a show where someone who was abused kill themselves right? Saying that “Other People Aren’t Responsible For Your Mental Health”, you shouldn’t expect other people to save you, you should be stronger than your abuse. You wouldn’t tell a person being abused that they shouldn’t go depending on someone to not abuse them the same way this article critiques the character Hannah Baker saying she shouldn’t expect someone else to save her. No you wouldn’t, because “abuse is more serious than bullying”. NEWSFLASH: bullying is abuse, it just has a prettier name. This article is an example of what the show is trying to say. This article sounds just like Courtney when she kept saying “it wasn’t anyone’s fault”. No. Your actions have effects. It’s scientific. Look it up. Take some responsibility for your life and your actions. If someone doesn’t know you had your appendix removed and have stitches on and punches you, is it your fault cause “they don’t know about your issue and they’re not at fault because you’re the one who has stitches”. NOOO. THEY ARE WRONG BECAUSE THEY SHOULDN’T PUNCH YOU. And you shouldn’t have to say “I have stitches. That is why you shouldn’t punch me”, the same way the show didn’t have to go into details about her having a mental illness or not. No matter how stable or unstable a person’s mental health, there is no excuse for bullying. And every bully is responsible for the toll their actions took on another person.

 

I’ve been on both sides. I’ve been bullied and I’ve bullied. I’ll confess. I spent 12 years of my life in a convent and girls are mean and brutal. I’ve been the victim of abuse more than once. And I’ve made my share of jokes that I know were cruel. And nothing saddens me more than this article. To think that despite a show surrounding how people’s actions, however little or petty it may seem, affects another person more than you know still has reviews like this where people are saying “nah, it’s mostly on you”…No, it’s not. I’ve gotten up many days and said that I’m not gonna be broken today. I will be braver. Nothing anyone says or does is gonna hurt me. And on those same days, I’d come home feeling like utter shit, crying myself to sleep. I was never diagnosed with any mental illness and I’m pretty sure at 5 I didn’t know what depression was. But I did know what it meant to be hurt when a classmate I trusted broke my trust. When she said hurtful and mean things about me. At the age of 6, I had my first rumour. 6! Was I responsible then? No one asks to have a mental illness, but no one tells you that you have to be unkind. People with mental illnesses don’t have a choice; they have to fight to rise above it. People who are cruel willingly stoop to that level. I know. I have stooped before.

Don’t wait till someone gets suicidal. If one person had just been kind. That was it. That was all the show was saying. Be kind. No big job or committment so I don’t even know why there is an article shunning away responsibility. You’re quicker asking a person with mental illness “hey, don’t be so sensitive; don’t take on anyone; solve your own problems and don’t look for anyone else to help you out” but don’t want to tell the other person “hey, just be kind”?…

Think about it…